It has been brought to my attention that my most recent blog entry, which I posted last Friday, was perhaps ill-timed considering that it was both a Friday and a national holiday. I acknowledge that the number of people excited to spend a portion of their day off reading a CMEpalooza-centric Declaration of Independence parody is likely minimal. However, I would argue that if one were to write a CMEpalooza-centric Declaration of Independence parody, the only day it should be posted is July 4. I regret nothing.
Furthermore, it has also been brought to my attention that there has been disagreement, if not outright disapproval, with some of the “additional” self-evident truths included at the end of the post. Apparently, there are some who believe that pineapple should be on pizza. There are some who think that David Lee Roth leaving Van Halen was not the nadir of civil society. There are even some who prefer more jelly than peanut butter on their PB&J. Heathens all. Once again, I regret nothing. In fact, here are a few more truths we hold to be self-evident, even though they have little to do with CMEpalooza:
- That dark chocolate is the best chocolate and white chocolate should be permanently banned
- That every college dorm room in the U.S. in the fall of 1991 was required to contain at least one (1) copy of Pearl Jam’s album Ten
- That the Wicked Witch of the West from the original Wizard of Oz still scares the everloving crap out of us
- That Frank Sinatra was the coolest
- That Charles in Charge was the worst show with the best theme song (note from Scott: I usually just shake my heads when Derek makes bold proclamations like this, but I must interject here, especially since Derek will soon lambast a different cast change. Charles in Charge actually dumped basically 75% of the cast after its first failed season since the original family was awful, with a very circumspect explanation of why a new family in the same house also needed a ‘manny.’ The second cast was much, much better and many episodes were entertaining. It was certainly a better show than Saved by the Bell, among others).
- That Fruit Stripe was the best gum with the shortest flavor life
- That if you were born in 1970, you were closer in time to the end of WWI (1918) than you were to today’s date
- That, after season 3 of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, they swapped out one Aunt Viv for another Aunt Viv and tried to act like nothing happened, but we noticed. We noticed.
- That Dumb & Dumber was robbed of a Best Picture award in the 1994 Academy Awards
- That Prince’s performance at the 2007 Super Bowl was, is, and forever will be the greatest halftime show ever
Also, I updated the CMEpalooza archive with all the sessions from CMEpalooza Spring 2025. Whoopee.
CMEPALOOZA 