CMEpalooza Survey and Jokes

Scott and I are still in recovery mode after a great CMEpalooza Fall on Wednesday, so I’ll keep this brief.

If you watched any of the CMEpalooza Fall sessions, we would love to have your feedback on our survey. It is only 7 questions, and I promise it won’t take you more than 5 minutes to complete. We have 95 completions so far which is, quite frankly, a stunning amount. I’m not even sure how to process that number right now, But we still want your input if you haven’t filled it out yet.

PLEASE CLICK HERE TO TAKE OUR SURVEY!

As is tradition, here are the jokes that have been submitted on the survey thus far. They are all terrible, which means they are perfect.

Vandals destroyed the Origami Institute in Japan. We’ll keep you posted as the story unfolds.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

What kind of dog does a scientist have? A lab!

Why don’t bears wear shoes? Because they have bare feet!

What’s the difference between the Philadelphia 76ers and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill. (NOTE: whoever wrote this is now banned from CMEpalooza.)

Where Do I Watch CMEpalooza Fall?

Where do I watch CMEpalooza Fall?
You watch it on the LIVE page.

Will people be able to hear me on the Hangout?
No. You are not on the Hangout. You are only watching a video feed of the Hangout. You can play the air-horn version of a-ha’s Take on Me at full volume and no one will hear you except your neighbors, who might call the police, who might interrupt you while watching CMEpalooza. So, don’t play the air-horn version of a-ha’s Take on Me at full volume while watching CMEpalooza.

Can I watch CMEpalooza Fall at the office?
Yes.

Can I watch CMEpalooza Fall at home?
Yes.

Can I watch CMEpalooza Fall in a conference room with 150 other people?
Please do.

Can I watch CMEpalooza Fall while at a coffee shop?
That depends. Will you be drinking a skinny latte while watching? If yes, then no, you may not watch CMEpalooza Fall while at a coffee shop.

Can I watch CMEpalooza Fall with LeBron James?
I don’t know. Let’s ask him.

I guess he’s busy.

Do I have to pre-register or register?
Nope.

Do I have to pay anything to watch CMEpalooza Fall? I love paying registration fees.

No. You don’t have to pay anything to watch CMEpalooza.

Do I have to take a survey afterward?
Well, you don’t have to, but it would be nice if you did. It’s only seven questions and shouldn’t take you more than 60 seconds. If it takes you more than 60 seconds, Scott will come to your house and bake you his famous apple strudel.

Can I get a certificate for watching CMEpalooza Fall?
Actually, yes. Well, kind of. We’re not accredited or certified or anything like that, and we have no way of verifying whether you actually watched any of these sessions or not. But if you want a certificate of completion that you can use to self-report participation in CMEpalooza Fall 2018, here you go. I’ll also post it on the LIVE page tomorrow.

How do I ask questions to the presenters?
Good question. There are three ways you can ask questions:

  1. Send a text to the CMEpalooza text line at 267-666-0CME (0263)
  2. Tweet a question using the #CMEpalooza hashtag
  3. Click on the Google Slides link on the LIVE page and enter your question there

We always get to as many questions as we can throughout each presentation.

Do I have to watch all the sessions?
YES! No. Watch what interests you.

Will the sound quality for each presenter be crystal clear with consistent volume and no glitches?
No. Will it be pretty good for most presenters? Yes. There will be some who sound better than others. There may be a few glitches and hiccups. That’s just how it goes with a free conference where presenters volunteer their time and use their own equipment. Some people aren’t comfortable doing a presentation while wearing headphones and a mic, so we don’t force them to use it. We do the best that we can with what we have available to us. That said, there seems to have been some improvements within Google Hangouts this year, so perhaps we’ll get lucky

What if I’m busy during the day of the live broadcast?
All the sessions will be archived on the website, probably within 15 minutes of the conclusion of the session. How are we able to do it so fast? We have a whole new office full of interns who are real crackerjacks on the interwebs. Here they are hard at work, writing our latest blog post.

 

Guess What’s Coming This Week???

That’s right — it’s the start of the NBA season! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Also, CMEpalooza is on Wednesday. Woo.

As an additional reminder, we are actively seeking out audience questions in advance for our RFP SOS session. If you have any questions about the RFP process and why is works the way is does, now is your chance. Just go here and submit your question in the provided form. Thanks to all of you who have already sent in your questions!

Submit Your RFP Questions Now!

Do you have a burning question for the panelists of our RFP SOS session? If you do (or even if you don’t and just have something you’re mildly curious about), please submit it in the form below and Angelo, Maria, Ann Marie, and Jill will do their best to address it next Wednesday.

Maybe you are wondering why some companies put out public Requests for Proposal (RFPs) and some don’t. Maybe you are wondering who all has input in writing supporter RFPs. Maybe you want to know if you really, really, need to follow the RFP guidance on font, word count, etc. The possibilities are endless (not really – there is probably a limit somewhere).

(Side note: the last time Angelo moderated a CMEpalooza session, someone submitted a question to ask if he was married. Let’s just address that one now: Yes, he’s married. Am I annoyed that no one has every sent in a question to ask if I was married? I mean, no, but…maybe a little)

 

Back and Better Than Ever: It’s CMEpalooza Haiku

palooza haiku
like the hawk and rock & roll
it will never die

coming in one week
CMEpalooza Fall
take the whole day off

9 AM ET – CME and MACRA: The Impact for Providers

no one understands
anything about MACRA
except these two guys

10 AM ET – RFP SOS

help us angelo
we have rfp questions
you’re our only hope

11 AM ET – Common/Not-So-Common Case Conundrums in CME

what’s old is now new
like this conundrum rerun
and magnum p.i.

1 PM ET – Accreditation Potpourri

it’s a potpourri
of accreditation spice
that doesn’t make scents

2 PM ET – Trust the Process (and the Terms We Use to Describe It): A Standardized Outcomes Taxonomy

’tis a noble goal
hinkie-fied outcomes standards
do you t.t.p.?

3 PM ET – What I Hate About You (aka The Gripe Session)

what I hate ’bout you
you reply all on listservs
man that drives me nuts

4 PM ET – CME 101

new to cme?
here’s a session just for you
(not literally)

The Controversy of CMEpalooza Haiku

DISCLAIMER: It’s not always easy in this era of “right vs. left” animosity to laugh about anything. This is my attempt at satire. Hopefully it works.  

For every great event, there is a history. Sometimes, this history is written down for the record. Sometimes it is told in story, passed down from generation to generation. Sometimes, this history is buried deep and eventually wiped away, never to be discovered by the general public.

So yes, there is history to CMEpalooza, some of which Derek and I have hidden to both protect ourselves and to cover up some of our shameful past.

In light of recent political events, though, there is one moment that we feel we need to speak up about, and we’ll do that here, today, so that you can judge for yourselves.

It occurred early in the days of CMEpalooza, just as Derek was preparing to unleash his first batch of CMEpalooza Haikus on his adoring fans. You may now know CMEpalooza Haiku as one of our most revered (or pathetic, depending on your perspective) traditions, but like many traditions, CMEpalooza Haiku had a bumpy launch.

As he prepared the first batch of 5-7-5 verses, there were accusations levied against Derek from deep in his past, accusations that both surprised and flummoxed him. These accusations were serious, serious enough to bring into question his ability to share his poetic “skills” to the world of CMEpalooza. He was asked to testify before a group of CME/CE leaders to address these accusations.

Here is the transcript of his testimony, with no judgement or snarky asides added:

Ms. Chairman, members of the committee, thank you for allowing me to make my statement. I wrote it myself yesterday afternoon and evening. No one has seen a draft of it, except for my dentist, who won a poetry contest in 10th grade. This is my statement.

Less than two weeks ago, Mr. Richardson publicly accused me of writing a haiku with the improper number of syllables in the second line during our 10th grade English class. I denied the allegation immediately, categorically and unequivocally. All 14 of the other students in the class, including two of the accuser’s close friends, have said they recall no such haiku. One of these longtime friends said under penalty of perjury that he does not remember even reading one of my haikus.

The day after this allegation appeared, I told this committee that I wanted a hearing as soon as possible to clear my name. I demanded a hearing the very next day. Unfortunately, it took this committee 10 days to schedule this hearing. In those 10 days, as I predicted, my family and my reputation as a haiku savant have been totally and permanently destroyed by additional vicious and false allegations.

One accuser claimed that I argued as a college junior that “occasionally” was a 4-syllable word.

Another stepped forward to accuse me of reusing the same haiku to win a poetry contest in elementary school.

Finally, and perhaps most disappointingly, my wife’s 2nd cousin claimed that he overheard me on the phone begging someone to dictate a haiku for me that would smooth over one of the disagreements that occurred early in my marriage.

When these allegations first arose, I welcomed any kind of investigation by any member of the CME community. This committee now has conducted a thorough investigations, and I’ve cooperated fully. Listen to the people I know. Listen to the people who’ve known me my whole life. Listen to the people I’ve grown up with, and worked with, and played with, and coached with, and gone to 76ers games with, and had Shirley Temples with. And listen to the witnesses who were in my English class 29 years ago.

Since I first announced plans for a CMEpalooza Haiku blog post in July, there’s been a frenzy among poet laurates around the United States to come up with something, anything, to prevent CMEpalooza Haiku. Shortly after I announced plans for CMEpalooza Haiku, one individual said he would, “use every limerick, sonnet, and elegy she could write” to destroy CMEpalooza Haiku. Another individual claimed that CMEpalooza Haiku was “childish.” Childish. Think about that word. It means “like a child.” To insinuate that CMEpalooza Haiku could be written by a 7-year-old is well, OK, maybe it’s true, but it still hurts.

I understand the passions of the moment, but I would say to this committee, your words – whether they rhyme or not – have meaning. Tens of CME professionals listen carefully to you.

The behavior of the poetry and CME community has been an embarrassment. This first allegation was held in secret for weeks by a venerable poet until it was clear that CMEpalooza Haiku had overcome previous hurdles and would soon be a reality.

And then – as no doubt was expected, if not planned – came a long series of false allegations designed to put my ability to create three simple 5-7-5 lines of poetry on my own in question.

Crazy stuff. Alleged midnight library raids when I have been accused of destroying Shakespeare plays. Fights on boats in Rhode Island over the merits of Robert Frost. All nonsense, reported breathlessly by my sworn enemies.

This is a circus whose consequences will extend long past the life of CMEpalooza Haiku. The consequences will be with us for decades. This grotesque and coordinated character assassination will dissuade competent and good poets of all genders, colors, and creeds from writing witty haikus.

I’m here today to tell the truth. I’ve never written an illegitimate haiku in my life. Not in high school, not in college, not ever. One of my closest friends to this day writes limericks for his church group every week – he confided me in the 2000s when we were in our 30s that he had been accused as the originator of the “There once was a man from Nantucket” limerick. He sought my advice. I was one of the only people he consulted.

Allegations of poetic impropriety must always be taken seriously, always. Those who makes allegations always deserve to be heard. At the same time, the person who was the subject of the allegations also deserves to be heard.

As you know, I am a child of two of the least accomplished poets of their time. My mother spent hours every Sunday trying to find a word that rhymed with “leprechaun.” My father overcame numerous taunts as the only poet in southern Delaware who focused exclusively on the obscure sestina.

My parents’ trademark line was, “Use your poetic sense. What sounds right to you? What sounds wrong?”

This onslaught of last-minute allegations does not ring true. I am not questioning that Mr. Richardson may have read an ill-constructed haiku written by some person in some place at some time. But I have never written such a haiku. That’s not who I am. It is not who I was. I am innocent of this charge.

Mr. Richardson’s accusation stems from an English class assignment that he alleges was given to us during the spring of 1989, 29 years ago. I have submitted to this committee a list of every homework assignment I was given during that year. Why did I keep such a list? My dad started listing every task he completed during every day of his life in 1978. He did so, well, I don’t why he did so, but he did.

In ninth grade, I started keeping lists of my own. I’ve kept such lists for the last 29 years. When I was a kid, the lists are about what you’d expect – some goofy parts, some embarrassing parts.

But I did have the spring of 1989 documented pretty well. The assignment described by Mrs. Richardson presumably was given in April because I believe we were working exclusively on a term paper about the symbolism of The Scarlet Letter during the rest of the semester.

If it was in April of 1989, my lists show that I had no time to write a haiku on top of the burden of homework that I was required to complete. Let me emphasize this point – if the assignment described by Mr. Richardson happened in April of 1989, my list shows all but definitely that I did not complete it.

One feature of my life that has remained true to the present day is that I have always had a lot of close friends who were poets. This started in high school. Maybe because I have always been socially awkward and prefer to converse in rhyme.

But anyway, I remember writing haikus nearly every night and sharing them with Barry, Jessica, Tom, Mike, Lauren, or Natalie. The list goes on – friends for a lifetime, built on a foundation of 5-7-5. Several of these colleagues left their houses for the first time in many years to be here sitting behind me today.

These friends have rallied around me to help refute these ugly allegations. If these allegations prove to be enough to destroy the life’s work of an aspiring poet, we will have abandoned the basic principles of fairness and due process that define our community.

I will leave you with this thought as you judge these circumstances:

Let the haikus live

For CMEpalooza

Withers without them

CMEpalooza Haiku – coming Wednesday. Judge for yourself everyone.

Congratulations to our CMEpalooza Bingo!! winner

Congratulations to Jessica Stewart, Continuing Professional Education Coordinator at Cook Children’s Medical Center in Fort Worth, TX, the big winner of $500 through CMEpalooza Bingo!! Her name was randomly selected yesterday from the hundreds of thousands of entries we received.

Here is what Jessica had to say about CMEpalooza (before she even won!!):

“This blog makes my day every time it comes out.”

Did that compliment influence the random number generator we used to select the winner? Yes, yes, it did (OK, no it didn’t, but it sure didn’t hurt!).

For anyone who doesn’t have a life interested in all of the correct responses to our Sponsor Bingo card, you can access everything through this link.

Congratulations again to Jessica. Feel free to hit her up for a loan.

CMEpalooza Bingo!! = Free Money (like, $500 worth of free money)

With our usual pomp and circumstance (i.e., a single, semi-inflated balloon released into the stratosphere), we announced the new and improved version of CMEpalooza Bingo!! on Monday.

We understand that some of you like to dilly and dally, so this is your reminder that entries are due to me on Sunday, Sept. 30 at 11:59 p.m. ET along with a witty tagline (optional wittiness, though people are trying their best).

You can get all the forms you need at this link. Full rules were included in the earlier post, but here are the highlights:

  1. Download the Bingo!! forms and queue up the Sponsor tab on our website.
  2. Complete a Bingo!! (do I really need to explain to you what that is? OK, fine, it’s 5 in a row – horizontal, vertical, or diagonal).
  3. Email your entries to me at scott@medcasewriter.com. You can enter up to 3 times, but each entry needs to have a unique Bingo!!
  4. Wait until Monday morning (October 1) when we have the prize drawing. We’re giving away one single, gargantuan prize of $500. Second place is first loser.

Old Game, New Rules, Bigger Prize: It’s #CMEpalooza Bingo!!

As all 4,256 loyal followers of the CMEpaloooza blog know, prior to every biannual broadcast, we do a special event where we challenge you to find answers to some really piercing questions on the websites of some of our valued Sponsors. There has been CMEpalooza Pursuit!! and CMEpalooza Scavenger Hunt!!, but the all-time favorite seems to be CMEpalooza Bingo!!

Perhaps it’s because so many of you spend your Friday nights down at your local community VFW holding tightly to your lucky talismans as you pray for “O 68”, but man, you guys love your Bingo.

And so, CMEpalooza Bingo!! is back again this fall.

But there is a catch. Partly because we have too many sponsors to fit onto a Bingo card (27 of ’em) and partly because, well, we wanted to make some tweaks to generate more interest, there are a few new rules.

Here goes:

STEP 1: Download all of the necessary Bingo forms by clicking on this link. That will give you the Bingo board, the Bingo questions, and the Bingo answer sheet. You should also queue up our Sponsor page, which will give you direct links to all of the websites you will need to visit.

STEP 2: A successful entry involves completing a Bingo – it can be horizontal (that’s straight across), vertical (that’s up and down), or diagonal (that’s, um, diagonal).

Wrinkle No. 1: A successful entry also involves completing the clue for one of our two Gold sponsors – Academy for Continued Healthcare Learning or Genentech. So a total of six (6) answers are necessary this year for a successful entry. I can hear you whining already about the extra work, but hey, think of all the interesting information you are going to learn about our industry!

STEP 3: Email your completed form to me at scott@medcasewriter.com along with a witty subject line (witty subject line is optional). Entry deadline is 11:59 p.m. ET on Sunday, September 30.

Wrinkle No. 2: You can enter up to 3 times this year, but you need to complete a unique Bingo for each entry (yes, you can repeat the Gold sponsor question). You can even send all of your submissions to me in a single bulk email. Every entry is another chance to win our grand prize.

STEP 4: Wait until the morning of Monday, October 1, when we will have the CMEpalooza Bingo!! prize drawing in the law offices of Simmons, Fultz, and Brown (note from Derek: I see what you did there).

Wrinkle No. 3: In past years, we had multiple winners of smallish prizes ($25-100). This year, we are doing away with the piddling stuff and simply giving away one single $500 prize. That’s right, $500. What might you do with $500? I guess it depends on your personal preference, but here are some practical ideas courtesy of The Motley Fool website – pay down your credit cards, make an extra mortgage payment, buy life insurance. Here are some less practical ideas courtesy of me – buy a football autographed by Carson Wentz, a 2-oz tin of Beluga caviar, or a George Costanza signed and framed baseball card.

Sounds simple enough, right? Yes, yes it does. So get cracking there, chipmunk.