We launched our latest sponsor event, cleverly entitled “CMEpalooza Meets the Golden Bachelor” on Monday morning. As usual, we got an initial flood of entrants that has now slowed to a trickle as everyone, in the usual “I have a 2-minute attention span” approach to life, has moved on.

Maybe this little tête-à-tête with Derek will get your attention back to what is important: namely, entering our little contest so you can win some mad guap to pay for a fancy new pair of kicks (translation: money for shoes).

DEREK: OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!

SCOTT: You all right there, chief?

DEREK: I just saw Susan at the Acme!

SCOTT: Who is Susan? Is that the woman you hit with your car last year?

DEREK: No, not that Susan! Susan from the Golden Bachelor! She was in the checkout line in front of me. You’ll never guess what kind of apples she buys!

SCOTT: You are right, I won’t.

DEREK: McIntosh! McIntosh apples! Isn’t that amazing?

SCOTT: Fascinating. Truly.

DEREK: I think I’m going to write her a haiku to tell her how much I am rooting for her to win Gerry’s heart. Maybe something like this:

Susan, you are sweet
Like a McIntosh apple
XO from Derek

SCOTT: Amazing. Truly amazing.

DEREK: I know, right?

SCOTT: Don’t you have some work to do? Didn’t I ask you to score some of our entries?

DEREK: Like I have time for that. Can’t you just do it like you always do? I’m too busy on the Golden Bachelor message forums.

SCOTT: (Sighs) Fine.

Whether or not you are totally engrossed like Derek in the Golden Bachelor show, I know you are all able to multitask (note from Derek: you can tell this is a fake conversation because I would never write a haiku that terrible.) So please, for the love of Susan, go ahead and complete our special sponsor event before Friday at 5 pm ET. If nothing else, it’ll give you a chance to explore some of the innovative work our sponsors are doing right now. There is some pretty cool stuff going on.

One more thing: This isn’t your only chance to win money prior to CMEpalooza Fall. On Monday, we’ll kick off the CMEpalooza STEPtacular Challenge, sponsored by Talem Health. Maybe you can get some steps in while going apple picking. Full rules coming shortly.

Last weekend, Derek couldn’t stop texting me.

HIM: “I am sooo excited about this week’s premiere of the Golden Bachelor. Aren’t you?”

ME: “No.”

HIM: “Come on, don’t be a sour puss. You can still find love in your 70s. I think it’s an incredibly romantic reality show premise. Don’t you?”

ME: “No.”

HIM: “Well OK, Mr. Negative Nancy. Just don’t expect me to get any work done this week. I am going to be spending all of my time on Golden Bachelor message forums scrutinizing and analyzing all of the contestants. There are so many interesting women.”

ME: “Believe me, I wasn’t expecting you to get any work done this week.”

HIM: “Hey, I’ve got an idea. The CMEpalooza Fall sponsor event is coming up this week. Can’t we at least tie in the Golden Bachelor to this year’s theme?”

ME: (Thinking that I don’t have any better idea) “OK, fine, you win.”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how incredible ideas are born.

Welcome to CMEpalooza Meets the Golden Bachelor, our Fall sponsor event where we’ll give you the chance to win some money by doing nothing more than answering some questions about our glorious sponsors who all deserve a rose of their own.

Here is how this event works.

1. Click here to download the forms you will need. CMEpalooza Meets the Golden Bachelor is pretty simple. We have divided our sponsors into four categories – Gold Diggers, Silver Foxes, Bronzed Babes, and Special Stylists. In each category, you have to answer questions about one or more of our sponsors. Each question is very loosely themed on the Golden Bachelor. I asked Derek to help create some questions since he knows so much about the show, but you did read where he said he wasn’t doing any work this week, right? So you get what you get.
2. So where do you find the answers? Well, by visiting the websites of our CMEpalooza Fall sponsors (we have links for you on our Sponsor tab). I promise that you won’t have to hunt too much to find anything in case, like Derek, you are spending hours on the Golden Bachelor message forums this week.
3. You can use the answer sheet in the downloaded forms to complete your responses. You get up to three entries, but for each entry you must answer clues about different sponsors.
4. Within each entry, you must get every answer correct to qualify for our prize drawing. If I’m in a less ornery than usual mood, maybe I’ll let you get one wrong (note from Derek: that’s doubtful.). We’ll see.
5. Completed answer forms can be sent to me at scott@excaliburmeded.com. Make sure to include your name and professional affiliation in your email so that when we announce that you’ve won, everyone can be sufficiently jealous.

We’ll have five prize winners who will each receive a $100 Amazon gift card. Derek bought dozens of these already but apparently there are a few still left.

This event will be open until Friday, October 6, at 5 pm ET, so get cracking!

In a world where quality education is scarce and where costs are constantly on the rise, no one is safe.

Devastation around every corner, desolation in every household, demolition in every neighborhood.

It’s up to two men–two brave, brave men– to save humanity

…

Sorry world. You are screwed.

Yes everyone, with CMEpalooza Fall creeping ever closer, it’s time for the Coming Attractions part of our program. The feature film playing on Wednesday, October 18 from 9 am-5 pm ET will be here soon enough, but here are a few things you can look forward to in the coming weeks.

• Next week (Oct. 2-6) will mark the return of our special CMEpalooza sponsor event. Will it be CMEpalooza Pursuit? CMEopoly? CMEpalooza Match Game? Oooh, the possibilities. Whatever it is, you’ll have your chance to win one of many cash prices we’ll be giving away just by answering some questions about our many worthy and wonderful sponsors.
• The following week (Oct. 9-13) brings back the CMEpalooza STEPtacular Challenge, sponsored once again by Talem Health. There will be some minor tweaks to the rules this time around, but you will still want to start ramping up your daily workout to try to dominate. Again, cash prizes people!
• I imagine Derek will trot out CMEpalooza Haiku pretty soon (note from Derek: of course I will! It’s the highlight…er…haikulight of every CMEpalooza.) That’s not really a Coming Attraction – just a warning to all of the poet laureates out there to get ready to cringe.

I better crack the whip on our interns to get to work — they have been spending way too much time today giving us their rendition of Dancing on My Own.