5. It’s a good excuse to get you out of that phone call that should have been an email
“Hey, Bob. Really sorry but I’m going to have to bail on our call this afternoon. I have a major project I’m working on, and the deadline is coming up soon. No, no, don’t reschedule just for me. You guys go ahead.”

4. You can use it as cover while adjusting your Fantasy Football lineup
Speaking of fantasy football, let me take a quick moment here to remind everyone that nobody else cares about your fantasy football team. You might think we are interested in hearing you debate about whether to use Patrick Mahomes or Gardner Minshew as your starting quarterback, but actually no. We don’t. Tough but true.

3. Make it a fun, team-building exercise!
Step 1: Rent one of those sweet 15-person passenger vans so everyone can squeeze in together (people love that)
Step 2: Take the whole gang to Applebees and order Appletinis for all!
Step 3: Over some kind of (probably fried) appetizer, ask everyone to think of a question for the Grants Hotline
Step 4: Best question wins a free Southern Apple Fritter!

2. What else are you doing right now that is more important?
Admit it, you’re right in the middle of a Facebook post about your fantasy football team, aren’t you? I knew it! 

1. We really really really really need more questions
We have received a few, but I would love to have a bunch more. Yes, you technically have until Friday to get your questions in, but why not just do it now and help me keep my blood pressure down? Here’s the form for you to use:

Announcement #1: Google Hangouts On Air Is Dead But CMEpalooza Is Not

Here is an abbreviated version of my email exchange with Scott yesterday morning:

Scott: Google killed Hangouts On Air last month. It’s gone.

Me: Well…that’s not good.

Scott: Nope. We should probably find an alternative.

[googles “Google Hangouts On Air alternative”] 

[clicks first link he sees]

Scott: Problem solved. I found something.

Me: Great. Let’s use that.

And that’s pretty much how it all went down (minus a few swear words and inappropriate gestures.) Google did indeed kill Google Hangouts On Air (GHOA), which is the platform we have used to run CMEpalooza since it’s inception. And in about five minutes, we (Scott) found an alternative to use that is pretty dang close to the same as GHOA. We are still testing it out, but have been pleased with how it has performed during our trial runs. I really don’t think you will see much of a difference. With the certainty of death, taxes, and the Phillies bullpen blowing a 3-run lead, CMEpalooza will continue on.

Announcement #2: The CMEpalooza Archive Has Been Updated

I updated the CMEpalooza archive to include all of the sessions from 2019 CMEpalooza Spring. We now have a total of…I don’t know how many sessions. Honestly, it was sort of a stressful day and I didn’t bother to count them. It’s a lot. I’m going to guess it’s 97 sessions in the archive. Ninety-seven sounds like a good number. It’s also the same number of times I banged my head on my desk when I found out GHOA was gone.

Announcement #3: Send In Your Questions For The CMEpalooza Grants Hotline

Yes, they’re not due until September 13, but why wait? Click here and send them in now!! 

The following is a factual statement: the #1 requested topic for CMEpalooza (Every. Single. Time.) is “More content about grants.” It doesn’t matter how many times we do one, people want more. With that in mind, now is your opportunity to get all your grants-related questions answered. The Grants Hotline is officially open and operators are standing by!

Our Grants Hotline session is scheduled for 11 AM ET during CMEpalooza Fall (Wednesday, Oct. 16), and the concept is fairly simple. Submit your question via one of the methods listed below and our expert panel will answer it*. That’s it, that’s the session. The more questions you ask, the more content we have.

*I feel obligated to state that your question needs to be related to the grants process, panelists can opt out of questions they aren’t comfortable answering, and we might not be able to get to every question. So for all you wisenheimers who want to come up with a “hilarious” question that you think will “make our day,” I mean, go ahead, but you’ll be wasting some of your wonderful creativity on an audience of, maybe, two people.

How to submit your questions:

Option #1:

Option #2: Text your questions to the Grants Hotline at 267-666-0CME (0263)

We are going to leave the Grants Hotline open until September 13, so you have two weeks to get your questions in. After that, you will just have to wait until CMEpalooza on October 16. Rumor has it that our fearless moderator will be showing off his Hotline Bling dance moves at the end of the session. Tune in to find out! (note: he didn’t actually tell me that he would be dancing, nor did I ask him, but he also didn’t not tell me that he would be dancing, so who knows?)