Could you remind me of every single detail about submitting an abstract to present at CMEpalooza Spring?

No.

Please?

No.

Pretty please with a cherry on top?

Fine. Abstracts to present at CMEpalooza Spring (happening on Wednesday, April 16) are due by 9 p.m. ET on Wednesday, February 12. You can find the rest of the submission guidelines here.

What is the theme of CMEpalooza Spring?

There is no theme. Provide good education, that’s the theme. Talk about stuff that’s important to the CME/CE community, that’s another theme.

So, I can talk about whatever I want? 

As long as it relates to CME in some way, yes.

Can I talk about issues related to diversity, equity, and inclusion? I’m asking because, you know. 

Yeah, we know. And yes, you can talk about issues related to diversity, equity, and inclusion. 100% yes. Please do. We have an entire Health Equity section in the archive. Here is a list of some of those sessions:

• Improving Patient Care for the LGBTQ+ Community through Continuing Education: A Panel Discussion
• Meaningful and Sustainable Strategies to Address Disparities through CEhp: Are We There Yet?
• FADE Out HIV – Connecting Black Barbers, Their Clients and Community Clinicians

Can I have a panel session with Saquon Barkley, Stephen King, and Taylor Swift talking about ’80s trivia and the best books they read in 2024? 

You thought I was going to say “no” because it doesn’t have anything to do with CME, didn’t you? Well, you’re wrong, ha! You can definitely propose this session in your abstract. We’ll figure out some way to relate it to CME. We’re good at that.

What happens after February 12? 

Scott and I will review all of the abstracts and select the ones we think will make the best agenda for CMEpalooza Spring. I will insist we approve all the abstracts I have selected, and Scott will insist we approve all the abstracts he has selected. We will calmly argue about this for a while, but eventually our voices will become raised. From there, we will move on to shouting and violently pointing fingers at each other. Eventually we will agree to resolve our differences through an arm-wrestling match, which I will win because even though I am a couple years older, I have longer arms and everyone knows leverage is the key to winning at arm-wrestling. After my great victory, we will email everyone to let you know if your abstract was selected or not.

(Note from Scott: Derek likely isn’t aware is that I have watched Over the Top probably 50 times and that I have broken down in excruciating detail the absolute optimal strategy to defeat any arm-wrestling opponent with physically superior gifts. “Long arms” is hardly a superior gift, but nonetheless, Derek shall be vanquished with ease as I chomp on my victory cigar.)

Should I take it personally if my abstract is not selected for CMEpalooza Spring? 

Listen, if you’re looking for a reason to be upset so you can order a massive container of nachos and eat them guilt-free, then you are welcome to take it personally. The truth is that until CMEpalooza becomes a huge, multi-day festival of learning, we only have a limited number of slots available for presentations and hard decisions must be made. That’s just the way it is (thank you, Bruce Hornsby.)

Is there anything else I need to know about submitting and abstract to present at CMEpalooza Spring? 

Probably, which is why you should click this link to read more about the submission guidelines.

Good luck and thanks for submitting? 

Good luck and thanks for submitting!

If you missed previous segments of the CMEslinger saga, you can read them here:

• Part 1
• Part 2
• Part 3
• Part 4

And now, our latest segment:

Part 5 (Derek)
An amused smirk played across the man in black’s lips.

“I’ll give you this, CMEslinger, you always were the resilient one. Dumb as a ewe in heat, but resilient.”

The man in black heard the CMEslinger scoff at the other end of the line.

“I admit it took me longer than it should have to figure out your plan. Aunt Betty deserves an Oscar for her performance. But you got a little too clever trying to reuse one of your old proposals. You did a decent job editing out most of your trademark elements, but you couldn’t hide them all. Plus, you just couldn’t resist including two spaces after all the periods and openly mocking me with your blatant disregard of the Oxford comma. You might just as well have written ‘The man in black was here’ at the top of every page. You also forgot that I spent every weekend and summer day from junior high school thru college working at my grandpa Landis’s auto repair shop. It only took me about 15 minutes of tinkering to have the Wrangler humming like new. Now get your butt down here and let’s get to it!”

Cursing Grandpa Landis under his breath, the man in black hung up the phone, slipped his shoes back on, and headed for the elevator. He punched the button for the lobby and calmly waited as the elevator descended.

A minute later, the elevator doors slid open at the lobby level to reveal the CMEslinger standing directly in front of the doors, legs shoulder width apart, arms akimbo, waiting. As the man in black took a step out of the elevator, the two old-friends-now-bitter-rivals surveyed each other from head to toe.

“For Phinneas’s sake,” snorted the CMEslinger. “This is a conference, not a funeral. Would it kill you to lighten up your wardrobe a bit? Maybe work in some navy blue?”

The man in black narrowed his eyes but maintained his usual smirk.

“Very clever, Ralph Lauren. You’ll have to pardon me for not taking sartorial advice from a man in chaps and a neckerchief. Now, are we going to stand around here gabbing about the latest fashion trends or are we going to get to work?”

The CMEslinger didn’t respond immediately, but held the man in black’s gaze.

“I’m ready when you are.”

“Good. Let’s find Marge.”

It had been Phinneas’s idea and it was Phinneas who had made all the arrangements. He had given up all attempts at a reconciliation between his two former protégés and had finally agreed to their request for an ultimate showdown. It was the last thing he did before passing on.

The concept was brilliant in its simplicity. Two competing satellite symposia at the largest medical conference in the world. Whoever has the most attendees at their symposium is the winner. The loser agrees to leave the world of CME forever.

They had both agreed to the rules. And they had both agreed that Marge was in charge.

Since there are no Kansas City Chiefs fans who follow the blog, I decided to rewrite the lyrics to the Eagles fight song as a reminder to submit an abstract for CMEpalooza Spring by February 12.  In case you’ve never heard the Eagles fight song, the South Philadelphia String Band is here to help (this is the most South Philly thing ever):

Apply people apply!
To present on CME!
Now, people, now!
It’s easy as 1, 2, 3! (1! 2! 3!)
Submit here!
Submit there!
Palooza is everywhere!
Apply, people apply!
To present on CME!

E-A-G-L-E-S! EAGLES!!!
(I couldn’t resist)

Abstracts for CMEpalooza Spring are due by end of day on Wednesday, February 12.

Go Birds.