A Holiday You’ll All Love (Groan)

Happy National Dad Joke Day Everyone! OK, that isn’t really a thing (I thought for sure it would be), so I am unofficially declaring today the official holiday.

You may remember that Derek recently teased in this post how we’re now apparently doing episodes of Terrible Dad Jokes. Not one to miss an opportunity, I thought I’d provide you with some morning groans. The best part of these is that you won’t find them anywhere online or from the cringe-worthy archives of your own father. I made them all up myself!

Here’s how this started: A few months ago, a colleague of mine sent me the following, “I’m reading a book about the history of glue. I can’t put it down.”

Not bad, right? But what’s nice is that the structure of that joke can be modified for a whole lot of other things. And off I went. Here are some of my better efforts:

“I’m reading a book about the history of scoliosis. The spine is broken.”

“I’m reading a book about the history of pencils. I don’t see the point.”

“I’m reading a book about the history of wine. I white down something about each page I’ve red.”

“I’m reading a book about the history of guns. Shoot, let me rifle through the pages to get to the good part.”

“I’m reading a book about the history of rubber cement. I’m stuck on page 252.”

“I’m reading a book about the history of airplanes. The pages are just flying by.”

“I’m reading a book about the history of filet mignon. It’s well done.” [note from Derek: all these jokes are terrible, but this one is not funny. A well done filet is nothing to joke about. There might be children reading, for Pete’s sake.]

“I’m reading a book about the history of CME outcomes assessments. It left me wanting Moore’s.” (I posted this one on Twitter last month)

And finally…

“I’m reading a book about the history of Patriots owner Robert Kraft’s favorite massage parlors. It has a happy ending.”

Thank you everyone. I’ll be here all week.

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