One of my first jobs as a high school kid was at a local movie theater. It was actually kind of fun. A lot of my friends also worked there, along with a handful of cute girls from other schools who didn’t know how awkward I was in advance of meeting me. I had about 5 minutes to make a good impression. Guess how well I did?

Alas, fleeting youth.

Anyway, at the movie theater, there were good “assignments” and bad “assignments” for the nightly team.

The bad: Working the concession stand. This was where everyone started out, because it kind of sucked. You were on your feet the whole shift, had to deal with cranky customers who couldn’t figure out what they wanted until they got to the front of the line despite waiting for 15 minutes behind dozens of other people, and you had to constantly refill the popcorn maker without burning yourself. On busy nights, the time passed quickly, but on slow nights, you just had to stand there and stare into space. There was nowhere to hide.

The good: Being an usher. What’s fun about carrying about a broom and dustpan and cleaning up the messes the customers make? Well, if you walked into an empty theater, you could usually sit down and watch 10-15 minutes of whatever movie was playing before anyone missed you. Plus, it was dark, so if you did a half-assed job, no one cared. I would often time my entrance into a theater so that I could pick up the movie where I left off 2 hours ago. For some movies that played in multiple theater simultaneously, I could watch the whole thing (more or less) in one shift.

Apropos of nothing, a quick movie theater story because it remains to this day one of my favorites. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen to me, but was relayed by a friend of mine.

(Customer walks up to the concession stand)

Customer: Yeah, I’d like a hot dog and some lemon chips?

Friend: Lemon chips? I’m not sure what you mean.

Customer: Yeah, lemon chips. (Points)

Friend: Um, you mean nachos?

Yes, people, the world is full of geniuses.

So why am I telling you about my movie theater days today? Well, because the days of movie premieres (Fridays) were always the busiest. This was an era where you would actually sell out the entire theater, sometimes hours in advance, for a film that had a lot of hype. I can’t imagine with all of the avenues of entertainment available at our fingertips today that that ever happens (yes, yes, we’re making the whole pre/post-COVID assumption).

It’s the same deal with CMEpalooza. On the day that we put out our meeting agendas for public consumption, we get a massive rush of traffic to our website that dwarfs what’s been going on with the Robinhood thing-a-ma-bob (but hey, if you made a million dollars last week, buy a CMEpalooza sponsorship, won’t you?).

We’re ready for the big rush, because today indeed is the day when we unveil the CMEpalooza Spring agenda. As always, we’ve put in quite a bit of thought into our sessions, and we think we have a really interesting mix for you. There are definitely a few quirky, out-of-the-box formats we’ll be trying out that may or may not work (Of course they’ll work! We are professionals here!). We always try hard to bring in some new stars that haven’t been on the CMEpalooza marquee before, so you’ll hopefully see some names in here you don’t recognize but can’t wait to hear from.

So take a look at what we’ve got in store, double check your calendar to make sure you have Wednesday, March 24 blocked off (yes, Derek, this is a reminder specifically for you), and order up a box of Junior Mints to be delivered that morning. Or lemon chips. That works too.

One of the sports-themed podcasts I listen to has started a new gimmick where every Friday they talk about their latest obsessions, mostly related to the world of sports. They aren’t really “obsessions” in the true sense of the word but rather things that they have found super-interesting recently and are excited to see more and learn more about.

This is neither a sports-themed podcast nor is it a Friday, but I’m not letting that stop me from stealing someone else’s gimmick and using it for my own purposes. My most recent obsession is with all things Scottish. I don’t know if it’s because my trip to Scotland in the summer of 2019 was the last big trip I did before the COVID-19 pandemic shut everything down (absence makes the heart grow fonder), but for the past month or two I have found myself seeking out anything and everything Scottish. A few examples:

• Only watching TV shows* set in Scotland. My favorites so far have been Outlander, Case Histories (starring Jason Isaacs, who also played Lucius Malfoy in the Harry Potter movies, which was extremely disconcerting once I made the connection) and Shetland, which is a great show featuring fantastic sweaters.
  
  *Not entirely accurate as I have also watched both Queen’s Gambit and Lupin during this stretch. I enjoyed them both, but was annoyed neither of them took place in Inverness or the Isle of Skye.
• Liked the sweaters that Detective Inspector Jimmy Perez wears on Shetland so much that I researched them online and bought one for myself from a store in Buffalo, NY, for more money than I realized anyone would actually pay for a sweater. I was later informed this was considered a reasonable price. I wish I was making all of this up. (Note from Scott: we demand a photo)
• Bought the book Clanlands: Whisky, Warfare, and a Scottish Adventure Like No Other, written by Sam Heughan and Graham McTavish, stars of Outlander. My wife is a huge Outlander fan, and I read this to her while she is knitting or puttering around in the kitchen. The book is a precursor to a forthcoming Clanlands TV show and has its own Instagram account, which I follow. There are pictures of McTavish wearing rugged sweaters and, yes, I have googled “graham mctavish sweaters.” The results were poor.
• Joined the Scotch Malt Whisky Society, a Christmas gift from my thoughtful and patient wife. As a card carrying member of the SMWS, for which there is a yearly fee, I am now able to spend even more money on bottles of scotch that only members can purchase. Yes, I spent money for the privilege of spending more money. Quite a brilliant business plan they have (Note to Scott: can’t we get the interns to figure out a similar plan for CMEpalooza??) I have bought three bottle so far, one of them accidentally. Don’t ask.

But enough about me and my crazy Scottish obsession. We’re here to help those of you who just can’t get enough of CMEpalooza. I’m not going to call it a CMEpalooza obsession because that’s sort of creepy ([looks at blog post title] [shrugs and quickly moves on]), but if you are anxious to watch as many CMEpalooza sessions as possible, I have some good news for you, friend.

The CMEpalooza Archive has been updated to include all the sessions from CMEpalooza Fall 2020!

Woo!

We also are going to be releasing our agenda for CMEpalooza Spring next week, so there’s that, too. While you’re waiting for the exciting news, I recommend relaxing with a wee dram and a couple episodes of Shetland. Sláinte!

 

Some people probably think that the CMEpalooza team is super creative in coming up with ideas for our various sessions. While it pains me to disavow you of that idea today, I figure after more than a dozen ‘Paloozas have come and gone, I’d let you in on how we really get our best session ideas.

[Derek/Scott sit down at the dinner table]

Derek/Scott: “So kids, what did you do at school today?

Kids: “We played this cool new game with our class. It was called (fill in the blank).”

Derek/Scott: “Huh, that sounds interesting. How does it work?”

Kids: (Begin 5 minute circular explanation that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense)

Derek/Scott: (Make a mental note to check the Google after dinner to find out how the game really worked)

And that’s how the proverbial sausage is made. OK, maybe not always, but probably at least a handful of times over the years.

Perhaps you recall last week that Derek gave you all a sneak peak at one of the sessions we’re planning for CMEpalooza Spring (Wednesday, March 24) focused on the “Would You Rather” theme. Yes, that came from the Warnick kids.

Today, you get another sneak peak (does it stop being a “sneak peak” once we tell you about every session before publishing the actual agenda? Hmm) from me for a Spring session we have planned based upon everyone’s favorite elementary school game, Two Truths and a Lie. Guess where the idea came from for that one? Wrong! I came up with it totally on my own. It was 100% my idea. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a fool. A fool, I say!

See, that’s an example of what they call “a lie” to get you into the spirit of the game.

For anyone not familiar with how this is played, you read three statements. Two are true. One is a lie. Your job is to pick the lie. Easy enough, right? Let’s see how you do with a few pieces of biographical data from Derek and I, as well as a few CMEpalooza-themed items. Answers are at the bottom of the page.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE – SCOTT

Question 1

A. I played backup bass guitar for a band while at Syracuse University, and Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Kurt Cobain randomly came on stage one night to sing Come As You Are with us.

B. At my local gym in Philadelphia, I once guarded NBA Hall of Famer Maurice Cheeks at a pickup basketball game

C. While vacationing in Vancouver, I ate dinner sitting next to Movie Hall of Famer (not a real thing) Liam Neeson

Question 2

A. My first job after college was in Yuma, AZ

B. My first CME-related job was in El Paso, TX

C. My last newspaper job was in Decatur, IL

Question 3

A. I hate mozzarella cheese

B. I hate cheddar cheese

C. I hate provolone cheese

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE – DEREK

Question 1

A. While not vacationing in Exton, PA (I worked there), I ate breakfast sitting next to NBA Hall of Famer Maurice Cheeks

B. My best friend in high school once went out on a date with Brooke Shields (but only one date)

C. While visiting a friend who was attending Oxford University, I played a round of laser tag with rebel billionaire Richard Branson

Question 2

A. As a kid, I would help my Grandpa Warnick nose ring pigs on his farm in southern Delaware

B. As a kid, I would help my Grandpa Landis wash parts at his transmission shop in Lancaster County,  PA

C. As a kid, I would help my dad setup new IBM computers for his business in Milford, DE

Question 3

A. I like dark chocolate

B. I like milk chocolate

C. I like white chocolate

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE – CMEPALOOZA

Question 1

A. The most watched CMEpalooza of all time occurred in the Spring of 2020

B. There have been 11 companies that have sponsored every CMEpalooza since its beginning

C. The most watched session in CMEpalooza history currently has more than 2,500 views

Question 2

A. Derek hosted the first CMEpalooza as a solo venture

B. CMEpalooza has twice taken place over the course of multiple days

C. We have never had a CMEpalooza panelist back out on the day of a live broadcast

Question 3

A. Lawrence Sherman moderated the only 2-hour CMEpalooza session in our history

B. Brian McGowan was the presenter of the first-ever CMEpalooza session

C. John Ruggiero has appeared as a CMEpalooza panelist more than anyone else

 

 

 

CORRECT ANSWERS: A, B, C, B, C, C, B, B, A