Thanks for coming, please find your seat. Before our main feature (which is on April 24 — you’re a bit early), here are a few coming attractions we thought you might enjoy. Thank you.
[HOUSE LIGHTS DIM]
[PROJECTOR STARTS]
[FOREBODING MUSIC PLAYS]
In a world full of boring and lame promotional events, one man stands alone in his quest to bring entertainment and fun to the masses.
From the strange mind of Scott Kober comes the latest CMEpalooza sponsor event…
CMEPALOOZA GETS CHOPPED!!!
Coming April 8. Prepare now. There will be prizes.
[FOREBODING MUSIC FADES]
[JAUNTY MUSIC BEGINS]
Let’s all go to the lobby.
Let’s all go to the lobby.
Let’s all go to the lobby.
And get ourselves a treat!
[JAUNTY MUSIC FADES]
[DREAMS BY FLEETWOOD MAC PLAYS]
Winter is over, spring is here, and summer is coming. You know what that means don’t you?
[RECORD SCRATCH. MUSIC STOPS]
IT’S ALMOST BATHING SUIT SEASON!!!
[BLOODCURDLING SCREAM]
[IT KEEPS YOU RUNNING BY THE DOOBIE BROTHERS PLAYS]
From the creator of CMEpalooza STEPtacular Challenge I, II, and III — just in time to whip you into shape for the summer season — CMEpalooza presents…
CMEPALOOZA STEPTACULAR CHALLENGE IV!!!
The CMEpalooza STEPtacular Challenge is coming April 15. More details to follow.
[VERY FAST NARRATOR VOICE]
CMEpaloozaisnotresponsibleforanyinjuriessustainedduringtheCMEpaloozaSTEPtacularChallenge. AllCMEpaloozaSTEPtacularChallengessponsoredbyTalemHealth.
[MUSIC FADES]
[FADE TO BLACK]
CMEPALOOZA 