(Trumpets blare)

Hear ye, hear ye! By the order of King Scott and Derek (our Fool), it has been decreed that voting for CMEpalooza Spring abstracts is officially open.

Our apologies in advance to residents of both Iowa and New Hampshire – we recognize that that the nation has pandered to you because of the extra value of your votes in the presidential primaries, but here in the democracy that is CMEpalooza, everyone gets to vote at precisely the same time. Funny how that can work so well.

We received 16 submissions for our Spring meeting from faces both old and new, so thank you for everyone who took the time to come up with creative ideas for potential sessions. As always, it’s an interesting mix of topics and concepts.

You can view descriptions of all of the submitted abstracts on our Poll page.

Here is how the voting process works.

1. When you open up the Poll page, you’ll first see the poll with all of the abstracts that are available. Scroll down until you get to the first session listing.
2. Take a close read through all of the sessions. Be sure to rub your chin and say, “Hmm… interesting” a few times as you peruse the options.
3. Come up with your top 5 session choices that you’d like to see on the agenda for CMEpalooza Spring
4. Scroll back to the top of the page where we have the poll itself
5. Vote for your faves

It’s really quite simple. Even someone who supports Donald Trump can figure it out (sorry, I couldn’t resist).

But anyway, voting will remain open for one full week, closing at 9 a.m. ET on Tuesday, Feb. 9. You can only vote once per device. The sessions that get the most votes will be included on the CMEpalooza Spring agenda. No delegates, no recalls, no controversy.

For those of you wondering about the voting for our Pecha Kucha session, so as to avoid confusion, we’ll keep you in suspense for another week before unleashing our plan to select participants for that session.

Let the jousting begin!

I know I don’t have to but I will remind you anyway because Derek told me I had to – CMEpalooza abstracts are due on Monday (that’s Feb. 1). The portal closes at midnight. Yes, there is actually a ceremony with court jesters and trumpeteers. This year, we’ve gone all out to hire a special guest celebrity to formally “close the portal.” You’ll have to show up at the secret location to find out who is it and what he/she is going to be wearing. I’m betting on something by Balenciaga.

But that’s not really what this post is about. It’s about tying things that bug me to something related to CMEpalooza. So here goes:

1. “If everyone in this room gave $20, we’d far exceed our goal.” This is such a cliched guilt trip for donations. You know what, if the rich guy in the corner gave $20,000, no one else would have to give a cent, you’d meet your goal, and I’d be happy. On that note, if every single person reading this post submitted a CMEpalooza abstract on Monday, we’d have at least, I figure, 5 or 6 abstracts. So get cracking, Sparky.
2. “Oh, I’m sorry, am I blocking your view?” Yes, Mom of the Year candidate, I understand that you got here 30 minutes early to get a front row seat and you feel the need to stand up during today’s production so that the angle of your phone is perfect to capture Little Anna’s moment of glory. BUT I CAN’T FRIGGING SEE! So either you sit your butt down right now or you get an elbow to the back of your head. Your choice. On that note, I’ll save everyone reading this post a front row seat at both our Spring and Fall events. See? Everybody wins with CMEpalooza!
3. “Wait, it’s due today? I don’t remember seeing an email about that.” I’m sorry, perhaps I should have put a flier in the mail and stapled it to your forehead. You got not 1, not 2, and not even 3 reminders about the deadline (that would make 4 reminders, I suppose). The deadline is today. No extensions. I know you’re busy. As my dad would say, “Tough.” On that note, we don’t play games like some other meetings where the deadline isn’t really a deadline and year after year there are “special circumstances” that warrant an extension. You really only have until midnight on Monday (that’s February 1) to go to the Presenter portal and submit your abstract.

End of rant. Continue with your day.

Not long after we opened up the abstract submission process for CMEpalooza Spring, the questions started pouring in:

1. “What are you guys looking for in an abstract?”
2. “Do I need to have a bunch of co-presenters?”
3. “Is it better to propose a 30-minute session or a 60-minute session?”
4. “Do you take bribes?”

The first three questions were all accompanied by the same well-reasoned, pithy response – “I dunno” (as for the last one, of course we accept bribes, as long as you expect nothing in return).

But really, I don’t have a ton of astute guidance to give on the abstract submission process. It’s not like we have any more influence than anyone else specific to the selection process – when the morning of Feb. 2 dawns, all of the abstracts that are submitted through our online portal will be posted on our website and the public voting will begin. You get people who are interested in the description of your session and vote for it, you are in. You don’t, you aren’t. This ain’t magic, people.

But since I hate to let down our adoring public, I did a quick analysis of successful abstracts from last year to determine some patterns/trends and offer some advice. Writing a good CMEpalooza abstract is a little bit different than submitting an abstract to a faceless group from a conference committee. You need something that is going to read well and sell others on your session.

For what it’s worth, here are some ideas that may or may not be helpful:

1. Be creative. Come up with a catchy title, find a unique way to describe what you plan to cover, make fun of Derek. Any of those can work.
2. Funny is good. Make someone laugh and they’ll read your abstract twice.
3. Don’t overdo it with details. I know it can be hard to summarize your idea in 50 or even 100 words, but people don’t want to read Jane Eyre here.
4. Spelling and grammar count. If you call your session, “Incorporating Patience Into Your CME,” I will make fun of you.
5. Think about what you’d like to learn about. Remember that it’s an audience of your colleagues that will be doing the voting. What interests you probably interests them as well.

That’s about the gist of it. As you watch the snow fall this weekend, give some thought to how you want to describe your proposed session.

Oh, and I like cash (Derek asked for old t-shirts from your neighborhood 5K 3 years ago. He takes a large).