NOTE: The enrollment for this promotion is full. Those who were among the first 25 respondents will be receiving further information to redeem their gift cards from us shortly.

Hold on tight, people – we’re going to be throwing a lot of stuff at you these next few weeks in the lead up to CMEpalooza Fall on Wednesday, October 19 (for the love of God, if you haven’t blocked off your calendar that day with a note that “Uncle George and Aunt Pat need help in the orchard,” please do so immediately). There will be more chances than ever to earn money and other goodies for doing not much more than going about your daily lives.

Sounds pretty easy, right? Surely there has to be a catch? What kind of idiots would give away things for doing nothing? (Looks at Derek. Nods glumly)

Thanks to our sponsors at Integritas Communications, we’re trotting out our first freebie giveaway today. Good news for you is that it’s also the one that takes the least effort of all. It’s our CMEpalooza Feeds the People initiative, where you can get a $15 Grubhub gift card for doing nothing more than being one of the first 25 individuals to complete the form at the bottom of this post.

We’re only asking for three things:

1. Your name
2. Your email
3. Your favorite type of pie

Our hope is that you will use this gift card to order a lunch delivery on the day of CMEpalooza Fall so that you don’t miss a second of our award-winning education (Derek’s wife voted CMEpalooza the “Most Annoying Topic of Conversation in Our Household” last year, so we are officially an award winner) (note from Derek: it narrowly beat out “Reasons I Love Joel Embiid” for the award), but since we can’t really trace when you use the gift card, I suppose you can use it this weekend to order chicken wings from that place down the street. You’ll just feel really guilty if you do.

No haiku or limericks or Top 5 lists or trivia competitions or MS Paint cartoons or political satire or CME Detectives or reminiscences of favorite concerts or poking fun at Scott (so easy!) or fake awards or Sixers references or any other clever (and less clever) gimmicks.

This is a straightforward plea for you to submit your questions for the CMEpalooza Hotline by the end of the day today. One of our panelists is located in Hawaii so the hotline will be open late. We have a few questions; we could use more. This is your chance to get your burning grants questions answered!

As a reminder, there are two options to submit your questions:

Option #1:

Option #2: Text your questions to the Grants Hotline at 267-666-0CME (0263)

Kids these days have it easy.

OK, fine, maybe they don’t have it easy in every way, but I’m talking about important things. Like the movie theater experience.

(Warning: I’m about to sound like an old geezer)

Back when we were kids, we used to have to sit through at least 3 minutes of boring credits before any movie started. I’m sure it was quite the thrill for the mom and dad of the second associate producer in charge of film sets in Asia, but for the rest of us, COME ON AND START THE MOVIE ALREADY!

But you know what didn’t suck? The coming attractions!

I guess if you read Variety or one of those industry magazines, you knew about the big blockbuster movies that were coming out in 6 months, but 13-year-old, sports-obsessed boys like me didn’t read any rag besides Sport magazine (the naughty cousin to the more expensive and popular Sports Illustrated), so the only way I knew what to look forward to in theaters was to show up on time to the start of whatever movie I was seeing and catch the coming attractions. Sometimes, the coming attractions were better than the movie itself (I’m looking at you, Beetlejuice).

So if coming attractions are so much fun, why haven’t Derek and I ever provided you, our loyal blog readers, with a list of the important coming attractions prior to our Spring and Fall meetings? Well, there is a very good reason for that, and here it is:

We usually don’t know what the coming attractions are until, I dunno, 15 minutes before we trot out something new.

Let’s briefly take a look at today’s text message exchange between Derek and I to show you what I mean (and yes, this happens every week):

DEREK: You got anything for the blog this week? If not, I guess I can figure out a way to write last week’s blog using different words but basically saying the same thing.

ME: No, I’ll think of something. (Idea pops into head) I got it. No worries.

DEREK: OK, cool. Can you put in a reminder about The Grants Hotline?

And that, boys and girls, is how you put in a reminder without obnoxiously putting in a reminder. (So yes, go to the Grants Hotline and submit your questions [note from Derek: Please?])

Anyway, back to coming attractions. This fall, we actually have more plans than usual, so I thought I’d offer a few teasers to whet your appetite.

COMING ATTRACTION #1 (late September/early October): CMEpalooza sponsor event. Will we see a return of CMEpalooza Pursuit? Maybe Cluedo palooza will make a comeback? Or maybe we’ve got something brand new in store? Ooh, the suspense.

COMING ATTRACTION #2 (early October): The debut of a brand new event, the CMEpalooza STEPtacular Challenge. Is this something where Derek shows off his dance moves on TikTok? Maybe STEP is an acronym for something really cool that you’ll never figure out in a million years? You’ll just have to wait and see.

COMING ATTRACTION #3 (mid-October): CMEpalooza Haiku. Nothing much I can do to jazz this up. Derek writes pithy, non-rhyming verse. He’s been doing it for so long that it’s pretty much automatic. Snoozefest. (note from Derek:

these words ring untrue
it takes great skill but I do
make rhyming haiku)

COMING ATTRACTION #4 (Wednesday, October 19): A very special day that I dare not talk about lest I give it all away. OK, fine, it’s CMEpalooza Fall.